This is the recount of FNS’ 20th Anniversary Celebration event – CoP in the Park: Reconnect with Nature and Yourself in Fort Canning, where participants immersed themselves in an experiential journey through Fort Canning Park, blending nature exploration with self-discovery.
How nature teaches us to be better facilitators
Heart pumping, I ran up the steps of the escalator of Fort Canning MRT station, desperately hoping that time would slow down.
I was already late and hoped I could get to my destination faster.
It seemed too much of a coincidence that I was now attending the event conducted by Fun Yuen (Fun) and Tina Wong, on learning how to slow down, to bring greater awareness to oneself.
Slowing down, to pay attention
Maybe sometimes, as busy facilitators, consultants and people developers, it can feel like this. You might be furiously running from place to place, meeting potential leads, then clients, and wondering when this cycle of being on the hamster wheel will end.
It can feel like there is an internal clock within you, and you’re hearing the clock tick.
That is where Fun and Tina come in.
As facilitators, they are well-versed in the art of bringing a different approach to facilitation.
Fun is focused on facilitating how we become more conscious and aware of what is happening inside and outside of us.
On the other hand, Tina emphasises facilitation through Lego, which can often be a more playful way of having serious conversations.
Indeed, the moment I stepped into the circle with facilitators Tina and Fun, together with 9 other participants, it seemed like I was in a different world.
For one, all of us were holding 2 Lego bricks in hand. It seemed out of place in a park where everyone else was seriously engaged in exercise.
It was time to warm up. Each one of us had to come up with an action, that the rest had to follow. We had to string together all the actions.
By the time it came to the last person in the group, everyone laughed at how much effort it was to remember (and perform) the warm-ups.
As we did lunges, stretches, and arm circles, we slowly came into greater awareness of how we were responding in our body, to the actions we were doing.
After the warm-up, we were now ready for the walk. Fun’s instruction was simple, though it was not necessarily simple to implement.
Pay attention to what happens around you. The nature, trees, birds, and surroundings.
Paying attention to what’s around you
Across the road, the drills thudded, as Singapore continued its frantic pace of development. Cars honked on a busy Saturday morning, as people angrily reminded others that they had places to get to, and there was no time to waste.
It was a stark contrast to where we were, slowly walking up the hill.
At the top of the hill, we were greeted with a reminder of Singapore’s history, with the Fort Canning Lighthouse standing tall in the bright, morning sun. Fun encouraged us to walk quietly, drinking in the sights around us.
After 5 minutes, he called us back.
He split us into threes to share our reflections. Some shared about how difficult it had been for them to initially focus, with the sounds of construction around them.
But as they slowly walked up the hill, they found their mind clearing. They found time to listen to what was happening within them.
They started to experience a greater peace. In the context of our busy lives, having unhurried time like this is rare.
One participant shared about how deep the experience had been, saying,
“I zoned out and simply enjoyed the moment.”
This often happens in facilitation. Split participants up into their groups, and you quickly have a flurry of discussion, noise, and laughter. Participants chatter excitedly about the topic you’ve given them. Sometimes, they even converse about something unrelated.
Bring them back together again, and you would find it difficult to catch their attention again.
Some might still be pandering after the great discussion they were having with their partner, and seem distracted when you speak to them.
This exercise seemed like an important reminder.
Attending to what’s within you
It is you, the facilitator, who finds his own centre of peace, and shares that with the group.
It is you, who must be able and willing to tune out the noise, and listen to what’s truly happening.
It is not about hearing with one’s ears, but listening with an active awareness.
That might sometimes require us to leave behind what’s distracting us.
At the top of the hill, Fun invited us to leave behind what was troubling us.
Where do you put your attention?
Sometimes, it can be on the things we’ve yet to let go.
I invite you to make a clear choice, to leave behind the things you want to leave behind, on this hill.
Sometimes, only nature allows us that space to leave things behind, with no expectations of having something in return.
Think about the last time you felt burdened.
How did you resolve that burden within?
It might have been through sharing your issues with a friend, who provided advice. Perhaps you went for a guided retreat.
Either way, there are often social expectations of how we would behave in these circumstances, where we are asking for something from someone.
But you would also have probably remembered the times when you took a long walk in nature, and suddenly experienced a stroke of insight. Or you might have walked down the beach. The gentle rush of waves brought peace, and also reminded you of how transient everything, including problems, were.
There is something special about nature, but we often cannot tell what that is.
Perhaps it is because nature never asks anything of us.
It only observes, accepts, and receives what you give it. This is not just a metaphorical description of why nature is so healing, and powerful.
Helping nature to recover
It is also a reminder of why we need to pay attention to how Mother Nature is growing sick.
In the next activity, Tina brought out a set of cards.
I want you to estimate how much carbon is emitted from these different activities.
Like making a pair of jeans. Or a cotton bag.
Or perhaps eating fish.
It was a time of re-discovery.
Participants laughed at how they had grossly underestimated different activities, such as the carbon cost of making a new cotton bag. In our current push towards using less plastic bags, we sometimes think that buying a new cotton bag may be more helpful than paying 5 cents for a plastic bag.
But with the carbon cost of making a new cotton bag that high, it was better to just buy a plastic bag, for that one time.
It was not just about having accurate numbers to estimate one’s footprint. Rather, it was about carbon sensitivity. Once again, this was tied to how we could live with greater sensitivity of our impact on the things, and the people around us.
Whilst we could not change the world, we could change our habits, bit by bit.
Resolving what tires you
As process facilitators, we guide groups from chaos to order. That can be a messy process that often brings facilitator fatigue.
You might come off a discussion you’ve facilitated and wonder why you are so tired, even though all you’ve done is to stand there, ask some questions, and scribe the answers.
It is tiring because of the emotional labour involved. When groups come into the rooms, they do not just bring the problem they have asked you to facilitate.
They bring their history, and their dreams of a more hopeful future.
Moving from fatigue, to fulfilling conversations
And that is why process facilitation is more than just guiding a fun conversation where everyone emerges with smiles and laughter.
It is actually about shaping the work that needs to be done after the conversation.
This is the task of shaping: narrowing down the problem and designing the outline of a solution that fits within the constraints of our appetite.
Shape Up (written by Ryan Singer), a book by software company Basecamp
Although shaping is a process taken from software development, process facilitation can sometimes resemble that.
We guide groups to agree on what is needed, and what is not.
Like a potter shaping a piece of clay, facilitators can shape conversations that are beneficial for the different stakeholders in a group. These conversations need to be at the right level of abstraction. They cannot be too vague. Nor can they be too concrete, killing the ability of the group to be flexible about how they implement those ideas.
It is why we, as facilitators, can always take lessons from nature.
How we can better balance the tensions within, and between
As the session closed, we walked down the hill. There was now a more patient mood within the participants.
As we sat down under the shade of the tree, we paused and observed what we had taken away.
One participant reflected,
I am glad that I re-discovered my authentic self.
Indeed, just as trees stand tall through sun, rain, and storms, quietly observing everything that happens, we too can stand tall, and observe the authentic self that is always there.
Sometimes, we lose sight of it in the busyness of life.
But when we think that we’ve lost sight of what’s true, genuine, and authentic within us, nature reminds us that all we need to do, is to rest and relax, and to breathe, and observe.
Building our Presence
This reminds me of one of INIFAC’s (International Institute for Facilitation) Certified Master Facilitator’s (CMF) competencies Presence. We need to transmit a calm and steady presence, exuding confidence to help guide the groups we are facilitating through chaos and disagreements. We can enhance our presence through inner works such as connecting with nature and becoming more self-aware of our being.
Ultimately, it is recognising that whilst building this skill takes time, it is still worth doing. Not just for ourselves, but for the groups we facilitate.
Bio
John Lim is a writer and recently published Take Heart, a book that shares how we can better care for ourselves in a changing world.
Curious about facilitation and FNS’ next CoP event?
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CoP: Community of Practice
